终于有好消息了!

英式没品笑话百科 2021-01-14 18:13

       



Royal Mail has published a list of areas where there have been delivery delays due to its workforce being affected by the Covid pandemic.

 

England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

 

由于新冠疫情导致的人手不足,皇家邮政公司发布了一份清单,上面列出了物流时效有所延迟的地区。

 

英格兰,苏格兰,威尔士和北爱尔兰。


——Renegade






Day 12 of lockdown, Ive discovered the 5th jizz takes 35 minutes on average and my tennis elbow isnt getting better.


Also Ive watched so much porn Im now fluent in czech.

 

封锁的第12天,我发现打第五次飞机差不多需要35分钟,而且我的网球肘也没有好转。

 

另外因为看了太多色情片,我已经会说流利的捷克语了。


——charlieboy






One of the most popular methods of fighting the pandemic is standing in the street, talking to TV news crews, complaining about all the other people standing in the street talking to people.

 

抵抗新冠肺炎最热门的方法就是站在街上、接受电视新闻记者的采访,然后抱怨有好多人在大马路上和别人聊天。


——smilex






Good news at last , pubs can reopen on the 30th February

 

终于有好消息了!酒吧在230日就可以恢复营业了!


——BigZav


 

       









感到不妙





也很诱人啊





【没品视频】有些人的尺寸就是强


 




有些人正过着你梦寐以求的生活,


却不满意。

——TheWeirdWorld 

@我的晚风轻轻吹:你也在过着别人梦寐以求的生活,你满意吗?

@葛城外美:一想到这个就满意了




为此骚动


@覆盆子漩涡:右边那个男的是在学李贞贤吗


         




Future generations studying history will likely have to study tweets.

 

未来一代在学习历史的时候,可能还要研习历史人物的推特或微博发言。


——Kickadoodle

@狂舞的金牛:夹总或被后人称为夹史公







If they can silence a gun they could silence a leaf blower

 

如果人类能给枪装消音器,那人类也能给割草机装消音器。


——Xsyther #小修改






A new year is less pressing the reset button and more just pressing lap on the stopwatch.

 

步入新一年不像是摁了重置按钮,更像是重新开始秒表计时。


——Sagere






When you're young, you assume everyone is free and ask if they want to hang out. When you're older, you assume everyone is busy and you ask when they're free.

 

年轻的时候你觉得所有人都很闲,总是随时喊人出去玩;长大后你却感觉所有人都很忙,说话的时候都要先问有空吗


——The_Snollygoster




—End—


有什么其他想说的,可以在公号对话框里私信。


翻译&编辑:荒野/监督:诺北